“Mothers constitute the only universal agent of civilization. Nature has placed in her hands both infancy and youth. The vital interest of America hang largely upon the influence of mothers.” T.W. Shannon
“Mothers constitute the only universal agent of civilization. Nature has placed in her hands both infancy and youth. The vital interest of America hang largely upon the influence of mothers.” T.W. Shannon
Dr. Lloyd Stebbins 
You have found core of the reasonable influence, but the child has two little camera eyes, and the little ears are recorders, playing over and over in the child’s forming brain. Image to a child is their language they understand, until they learn words. It is my opinion, without any facts to back it up, that the first two years are the no evaluation days of a child, just a learning time, to do the health and grooming. I believe that when people talk about the “terrible twos” that is the time they are learning to evaluate the difference, starting with themselves, what they like is not what someone wants them to do, and visa versa. It is that time that a mother has the driver’s seat, because she and the father are being having to make decisions on many things, about their discipline and what they believe is fair and/or good for the mental welfare of the children. It appears to me, that it is the fertile ground that all farmers plant their crops and hope for a good harvest, with future care, of course. It seems that the mother is growing, and a farmer in a sense, making a life grow, a human life that must have security and confidence to be strong and well rooted in their lives. Being fertile ground, two year and forward should be regulated with who spends time with the child, what the child hears, watches, learns, until they get the parents values, and character well planted in the mind and actions of the child they are raising. In this time, a conscience should be started and nurtured, to make the child sensitive toward life and others. The mother’s bond is strong by then, but she is at a dangerous intersection of people entering into the little child’s life, putting more info into the little brain to sort through and match up against what parents told them was right and wrong. It is the peers of the child, who know little or nothing about life themselves, that form a bond with the child and start pulling that little mind to their way of thinking. It is like quicksand, the child is leaning to the untrained, ready to protest have conflict with the parents, the trainers. That is the time a firm no and rules set will declare your territory, rights and make it clear the peers are just visitors with passes, and if they don’t behave, they get no more passes. I think parental control is what the world needs, where the life guides tell the children the rules, not the children setting the rules and telling the parents what they will or will not do. Love must be earned. Children need to feel safe and secure, so show them who is strong, who is always there, and, who makes the rules until their brain has formed completely, as an … Just saying……all kinds of sides to a problem, but fix it, not be a part of the problem. Being a parent is like jumping off a cliff….no turning back after the baby is born…..move on and be the best example you can.
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Thank you for the detailed and thoughtful commentary. I like your analogy of the farmer. Of course, after planting the farmer does not abandon the field. The crop needs considerable attention during the growing process, to reap quality fruit. Regretfully, far too many children today are raised by strangers. While mommy and daddy devote their best and most active efforts and prime time to competing careers, the children spend much of their growing years in an endless round day care centers (some open 24/7 now), nursery schools, pre-K programs, before school care, after school care and other venues. Children bond with their caretakers, rather than their mother and the children are especially vulnerable to learning wrong values from very young peers. Then after a long, hard day mommy and daddy finally come home much too exhausted to spend important teaching/learning time with the children and apply loving consistent discipline of the sort you described. Under other circumstances Dad and Mom are superheroes. Refer to several other blog posts on the homemaker and the family. What do you think?
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Thank YOU for your vote of confidence.
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